panzuda's Diaryland Diary

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The golden contact

This weekend I played around with group esotericism. I felt so needy and open, completely ready to do whatever was asked. Only a little time has passed, but I have to reflect on this “Golden Contact” energy that I revealed, the same energy that led me to being a religious convert when I was a teenager. On paper it’s straightforward: lover of symbolism finds themselves lonely or threatened and turns to group support for alleviation. When I look inward it feels more chaotic, vulnerable, and historic. I keep building and waiting building and waiting, but maybe there is no “thing” structuring this effort.

19:30 - 30.07.18

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